What to really watch for on Saturday
My editor “Q” asked me to make some fun predictions for the Pac 12 UW Huskies / UO rivalry game this weekend. I was going to predict a 48 point win, but I didn’t want to offend too many people in only my second post at NWSB.
Onto my projections…
1. “Black Mamba” mentions will top 8, may reach double digits
Fortunately, Oregon’s De’Anthony Thomas has given new life to these timid and afraid announcers and the opportunity to say “black mamba” for the first and maybe only time in a social setting.
Even if Thomas does absolutely nothing during this game, expect the announcers to say “black mamba” and make Snoop Dogg/Lion references upwards of seven to eight times.
Whatever the odds, take the over.
2. Steve Sarkisian will fire a member of his coaching staff mid-game
Sarkisian is a smart man. In his four seasons at Washington, he has experienced moderate success beating highly ranked teams (#8 Stanford last week and #2 USC in 2009), but has never capitalized on those victories.
Reaching the AP top 25 three times under Sarkisian has given Washington hope, but falling out of the AP top 25 a week after entering it is not encouraging.
Fortunately, Sarkisian has discovered that firing a coach or highly paid coordinator allows for more time to keep his job.
If the game gets out of hand in Autzen, expect a firing on the Washington sideline.
That will make great TV.
3. It will rain in Autzen Stadium
Before every Oregon home game, the PA announcer gives the same weather report no matter the circumstance.
“Let’s remind everyone, it never rains in Autzen Stadium,” the PA announcer is always met with support in Eugene, as the fans shout the same weather report as he does.
Despite the weather report for Saturday night in Eugene expecting a clear, 75 degree night, I will fearlessly predict rain all over the Oregon field and in the seats throughout the game.
4. Chip Kelly will punch a sideline reporter
After receiving a stupid question from the sideline reporter on Saturday night, the Oregon Ducks HC Chip Kelly will pass on his usual passive aggressive comment and just punch the reporter in the face.
This will inevitably end the sideline reporter job at ESPN and all similar networks.
5. Harry and Puddles will be suspended following Saturday’s game
This is not a fearless prediction, but a guarantee.
Every time Puddles (The Duck) goes down for his pushups after every Oregon score, Harry the Husky becomes increasingly jealous.
His cravings for attention began with a lackluster attempt to do sit-ups for every point the Huskies had every five minutes.
Aside from the rock-hard abs the husky Husky has developed, the crowd has yet to notice his antics during his 24-game-streak of sit-ups.
Upon seeing Puddles receive all the attention one more time, that will be the end of his self-control.
By the second quarter, Harry will attack Puddles mid-post-score-workout and both mascots will have to be separated by security and cheerleaders.
Suspensions to follow.
6. The Oregon crowd will no doubt be in a white out, black out, green out, yellow-out.
7. The blood alcohol level of the crowd will be above the legal limit.
8. Oregon wears all green jerseys to blend in with grass, Washington cries foul.
Enjoy the game.