The following things happen
The Washington Huskies have a treacherous schedule ahead of them in 2012. In the first 6 weeks of the season, they will be facing 3 teams almost guaranteed to be in the top 25 in the nation and one who has a chance to be.
With the year starting off on such a gauntlet for the Dawgs, a lot of things have to happen for them to come out on top at the end of the season.
I get to put my wizard hat on today and work a little magic in order to propel these Washington Huskies to a Pac-12 football title and a Rose Bowl berth.
I am going to toy with the biggest matchups of the season and allow the team to run through the rest of the conference. This is going to be fun.
Washington takes on LSU in week 2 of the season down in the bayou. With LSU participating in the national championship last season, they will no doubt be ranked extremely high. This will be no match for the Huskies, though, as I have something special up my sleeve for Les Miles and company.
With the Tigers having to go to a new QB this season (most likely Junior Zach Mettenberger), the Huskies shouldn’t have anything to worry about after watching Jordan Jefferson and Jarrett Lee last season. I won’t even have to use magic on them.
The only kink I am throwing into the LSU game is to plague Tyrann Mathieu aka The Honey Badger with fire ant bites that irritate him to the point of having to either sit our or be a non-factor in the game. I hope they have lots of powder and cream in their locker room. Mathieu’s gonna need it.
The Huskies roll as Keith Price gets a couple gold stars towards his Heisman status.
Stanford is the wildcard here. It is going to be interesting seeing how they fare without Andrew Luck, David DeCastro, Jonathan Martin and Coby Fleener. They still have insane depth at running back, which the Huskies know all too well after being single handedly decimated by the Stanford ground attack last year.
The Huskies gave up 446 yards on the ground that day, allowing two Cardinal RBs to eclipse 100 yards and a third RB earning 93 yards on the ground.
Washington plays Stanford at CenturyLink Field in Seattle this season. The Huskies will practice that week in preparation to just throw the ball against Stanford. With Stanford’s running attack so potent, somebody needs to stop them.
The groundskeeper and I come up with an elaborate pattern of taller grass over the middle of the field to slow down Stanford’s running attack. Meanwhile, Keith Price starts catching more eyes and Kasen Williams begins earning national notoriety.
PS – Stanford also has Barry Sanders Jr. at RB now, too. Yikes.
This one is going to be my favorite. I always dream of ways of decimating the Ducks, but now I get to publish it. Eugene had better be prepared for a somber season as the day before the regular season starts, NCAA President (and former UW Athletic Director) Mark Emmert will announce that Oregon will be facing sanctions immediately for their recruiting violations from 2008-2011.
Those sanctions will include loss of scholarships, no post-season play for several years and a Roger Gooddell-like ban of Chip Kelly for the whole season. I bet Kelly regrets not taking that Tampa Bay Buccaneers job after all.
With nobody at the helm of the football program, the Ducks will have several players arrested, suspended and kicked off the team for several violations. Kenjon Barner and DeAnthony Thomas will not be allowed to play after their party with Cliff Harris and Darron Thomas gets busted.
By the time the Dawgs touch down in Eugene, this matchup will be nothing more than a glorified scrimmage.
This is going to be the toughest match for the Dawgs this season, but I have something special for em. Matt Barkley will be hungover from partying with the Song Girls the previous night and play terribly. Marqise Lee and Robert Woods will have off games because of it. Those 3 Trojans combined will turn the ball over a combined 4 times to the combo of Shaq Thompson and Sean Parker.
Curtis McNeal won’t be able to handle the workload at RB because of the passing deficiency.
Lane Kiffin’s head will explode.
And TJ McDonald will be too exhausted from covering the whole secondary and then he’ll get a healthy dose of Austin Seferian-Jenkins to finish him off.
It will be the Keith Price to ASJ show as the Huskies upset the Trojans and make a huge statement to the nation.
The Huskies should not need help this season with the rest of their schedule. The defense is re-vamped and the offense finished last season gunning on all cylinders. Keith Price lost some quality players in Jermaine Kearse, Devin Aguilar and Chris Polk this offseason.
The combo of Bishop Sankey and Jessie Callier should ease the sting at RB, while the Huskies are loaded with WR’s to step up in place of their senior losses. Kasen Williams will have a breakout season and Austin Seferian-Jenkins will be the #1 tight end in all of college football.
I may have struck down the big opponents with some crippling outcomes, but the Huskies will win regardless of my feaux efforts.
If the team can play offense like they did in the Alamo Bowl and actually play defense, the Pac-12 should be worried about this hungry Washington team.