Moments in time…Danny’s Seattle Mariners from A-Z

The A-B-C’s of Seattle Ball

In the spirit of the NWSB Moments realm, here is my Seattle Mariners A to Z. Caution: Not for the weak at heart.

A is for Atrocity:

A word to describe most games. I’d like it to be for Dustin Ackley, but even he is an atrocity at the moment.

B is for Better:

The promise made by the front office to the fan base about the future.

C is for Catcher:

A position Jesus Montero isn’t destined for. If he’s as good of a hitter as promised, he needs to play every day. He can’t do that at catcher.

D is for Dump:

As in DUMP Chone Figgins.

E is for Edgar Martinez Drive:

The man that was the cornerstone of the Mariners offense for years driving in runs is now driving in fans – literally. The street beside the stadium was named after him.

Chone Figgins

D is for DUMP Chone Figgins now Jack Z!

F is for Fences:

Where the M’s point the blame for the home field disadvantage they seem to have. Although other teams don’t seem to have a problem going yard at Safeco.

Is moving in the fences really the problem? Some would say no – in which case they would say F is for FIRE NINTENDO!

G is for Gutierrez:

A man who will have an illness named after him one day.

H is for Hero:

Something the Mariners need. Maybe it will be the H word Hultzen for the dominate lefty in the farm system or maybe Hamilton a big name free agent at the end of the season.

I is for Ice:

I need something to help with the headaches the games incur.

J is for Jack Z:

A guy who I think is on the verge of GM greatness.

I’m trying to believe Jack I really am.

Help me overcome my unbelief.

K is for Ken Griffey Jr:

He represents the golden age of the franchise. Who can forget the smile, the pranks, the backwards cap and the ball that jumped off his bat.

L is for Loss:

A stat we see too often.

M is for Moose:

A mascot that makes no sense with the theme of seafaring Mariners, but shows the M’s commitment to the community as the Mariner Moose was chosen by local children.

Everybody’s favorite mascot, the Mariner Moose (photo

N is for Nintendo:

The owners of the Mariners.

O is for Oh.

As in My “Oh” My. The famous call of the late Dave Niehaus.

We miss you Dave.

P is for Peoria:

The Mariners training grounds in Arizona. A place where the M’s always get my hopes up.

Q is for Quality Start:

Something that never used to be an issue.

R is for Runs:

Fans may be unfamiliar with this concept.

A run is what a team gets when a base runner crosses home plate.

S is for Seager:

A pleasant surprise this season.

T is for Triton:

The M’s first logo depicted a three tong fork known on the seas as a triton, however it was considered bad luck to hold the triton upside down – probably because you could impale yourself in the foot – a problem the M’s seem to have.

U is for Underdogs:

One of the reasons it is so exciting when the Mariners do win. Because we never expect them to.

V is for Vendetta:

A prolonged bitter campaign.

How else do you describe the 35 years of Mariners baseball?

Did all the years of bad luck come from this logo? (photo

W is for Why:

A question that never gets answered.

Can be used in the following ways:

Why can’t Ichiro hit the ball?

Why do good players play so terribly when they join the Mariners?

Why did Chone Figgins get a sex change?

Why do I subject myself to this?

X is for X-Rays:

Where Franklin Gutierrez spends most of his time.

Y is for Yankees:

The dream killers of 1995.

Z is for Zunino:

The Mariners 2012 first round draft pick.

There you have it folks, try not to fall out of your computer chair laughing too hard.


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About Danny Ferguson

Danny no longer writes for NWSB
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