Howard Lincoln…An in-depth look at how his brain works

He’s a lawyer folks, it’s official

Perspectives are different between different people.  One guy thinks a piece of art is masterpiece and another thinks a 5 year old kid probably painted it.  I suppose the same could be said for how people evaluate a baseball team or its players.

The difference has to be that I, as a regular joe, have to assume that everyone who works for, or is a fan of, a particular organization wants that team to win.

So by that rationale, I assume, as do all M’s fans, that even Seattle Mariners CEO Howard Lincoln, wants the M’s to win even when it’s clear he does not.  Some of the thing he says just don’t make sense to me as a fan who want the Mariners to win.

Let’s look at a few of Lincoln’s quotes from the past week and see if they make sense to the average fan.

The Moves

When asked about the performance of his GM, Jack Zduriencik Lincoln had this to say, “As a talent evaluator, I think he’s done a superb job in the area of scouting, both professional and amateur scouting”.

Really?  “Superb” is the word he used?  Root word “Super”.  Mrs. Flom used to write “Super” on my test when I would actually get an “A” in first grade math.

As a talent evaluator, I think he’s done a superb job

As a talent evaluator, I think he’s done a superb job

Is he seriously giving Jack an “A” on his performance of scouting both professional and amateur players?

Let’s focus on the “professional” part of that statement.

Chone Figgins, 4 years, $36 Million.  I’m going to have to say that one was on the wrong side of the bell-shaped curve to get an “A”.

Doug Fister, traded for David Pauley who is now gone, Casper Wells who is also gone, Charlie Furbush who is struggling, Francisco Martinez who he sent back to Detroit in another deal, and Chance Ruffin who is still floundering in AA ball.

No “A” here and he had 5 shots at it in one deal.

Michael Pineda sent packing to NY for Jesus Montero.  This might have been an even trade since both of them got hurt but now with Montero being tied to the Biogenesis scandal it’s a total flop for the M’s, not to mention a PR headache from you know where.

Those three moves alone would get you fired in a lot of organizations.

The Manager

Lincoln was  asked about the Eric Wedge debacle and why he and his team didn’t get Wedge re-signed and his response was, “I do believe that the process we used was the correct process and Eric put the cart before the horse. We can’t have a contract extension until we have a talk about how things have gone.

It’s as simple as that.”

Has this man been asleep in his office for 20 years?  When is the last time you heard a MLB Manager describe a 1 year contract extension as some sort of vote of confidence?  There were 3 days left on Eric’s contract when he walked.

He talks like Wedge still had another 2 years to go on his deal.

The Ball Park

Lincoln was asked about what he had to say to fans in regards to why they should keep buying tickets, over priced jerseys and hats, etc.  Lincoln came up with, “First I’d tell them that when you get to Safeco Field you are going to have a safe, friendly environment. You are going to be sitting in a first class ballpark.”

Great, so you spent my money on a nice ball park.  I’d gladly take the Kingdome back if it meant we could win more than we lose.

Safeco Field is not supposed to be your own personal cocktail party venue, Howard.  Do you hold your wine tasting club parties there?  We want to see the team play well and win.

Yes, it’s nice to be in a nice stadium but now I think you Howard, are the one, to use your words, “putting the cart before the horse”.

The Players

Lincoln continues, “There’s a lot of things going on at Safeco Field for the fans to enjoy besides watching major league baseball.”

Well I’m not so sure we are seeing major league baseball when we watch your friggin team play the game right now Howard!  I’m not spending $50 a ticket to have quality time with and then spend more money on the world’s best garlic fries.

And more, “The second thing I’d tell them is that you are looking at talent that we have brought up. Young talent that we are going to control for many years.”

Nintendo has plenty of cash...

Nintendo has plenty of cash

Not so fast there Howie.

Some of your precious young talent is starting to get older.  Justin Smoak is going to be eligible for arbitration next year so it’s finally going to be put up or shut up time on him.  Same goes for Dustin Ackley the following year.

Maybe he meant to say, “young talent that we are going to control for only 1 more year.”

The Money

Lincoln was also asked about fans’ claims that the Mariner’s owners are just in this for the money, not to win, Lincoln quipped, “None of our owners when we got into this back in ’92, got into it with the idea that the objective was to make money”.

In response, allow me to quote my favorite movie, Ferris Beuller, “Dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn.”

When asked if Nintendo might want to get out of the baseball business (they do own the majority of the team after all) Lincoln spouted,  “Nintendo has plenty of cash. I think that Nintendo looks at this as a very good investment and all of that. But I think they also look at it as giving back something to the community.

Nintendo of America is community minded. At this point in time, there are no plans”

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa a second here… let’s take these one at a time.

“I think Nintendo looks at this as a very good investment”.  Of course they do.  The TV deal alone rivals that of the ones in LA and Texas.  Is Seattle’s payroll even in the same discussion with those two teams?  

Further proof of the organization’s commitment to MAKE MONEY.

“But I think they also look at it as giving back something to the community.  Nintendo of America is community minded.”  Yes, many a warm summer day I have spent at Nintendo Beach.  My kids love to play in Nintendo Park and I’m just so thankful for the quality care I got when I was ill as a child at Nintendo Children’s Hospital.

Which raises another point.  Why isn’t it Nintendo Field?  I mean if they are so proud to be “giving back to the community” why not put your brand on it and remind people daily of who is behind this team?  $40 million to name it Safeco for 20 years…. but it’s not about the money.

Is this guy for real?

This really has gone far enough.  You’d get more truth out of congress right now about who is to blame for the federal government shutdown.

You want to see Lincoln lie?  Wait for his lips to move.

The bottom line for Seattle Mariner fans everywhere is that this team and organization will go no further until there is a change in ownership; a change in ownership that will then send Howard Lincoln, Chuck Armstrong and his little “Mini Me” Jack Z out of the picture once and for all.


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About Brian Scott

Husband, Philosopher, Animal Rights Advocate, and Author Brian is a Spokane native and Gonzaga University grad. Seahawks, Mariners, GU Hoops and Cougar football are the teams that drive his passion for sports. You can catch him on twitter too! Connect with Brian today!
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