Next up: Japanese Hoarders
It turns out that Ichiro Suzuki and I have something in common.
Our parents are hoarders. As I was moving out on my own as a young adult my mom showed up with boxes upon boxes of my stuff. This was stuff I didn’t even know about: every piece of art, every homework assignment, every participation ribbon, trophy, uniform and Mariners momento’s from my childhood.
I threw most of it out while Ichiro’s parents turned it into a museum.
This isn’t just a place documenting his impressive sports career, but a shrine to a man that has become legendary. I like Ichiro and all but I don’t think I’d pay $11 to see his childhood retainer.
But if I did travel half way across the world, I would pay the cash it took to figure out how to display 38 years of a person’s possessions.
I could use some more organizational tips in my life.
As a Mariners fan I would also hope to see these five things:
An Ichiro bobblehead doll with a built in recording of one of his infamous , profanity laden all-star game speeches against the National League.
2. The Robot
A customized Rockem Sockem Robot game featuring the likenesses of Ichiro and Mike Hardgrove. Of course the game would be rigged and Ichiro would win every time
3. A Likeness
A life size digital recreation of what it is like to stand on third base when Ichiro is up to bat. Spectators would attempt to field the ball and throw it to first.
A chart explaining Ichiro’s fashion choices when off the field. Perhaps, there is an answer key to his clothes, like the little instructions that come with a mood ring.
A recreation of Ichiro’s Safeco field locker. Ichiro would be standing facing into the locker while a reporter asked him questions. Spectators would be able to see Ichiro’s though bubbles and compare them to the answers the interpreter gives. That would be a hoot.
But hey, seeing as pictures are not allowed in the “Ichiro Exhibition Room” for all I know all this stuff is there already; right next to his wisdom teeth.
I threw mine out… Don’t tell my mom.