mariners

The tale of a man named Chone Figgins

The comeback of the Mariners Chone Figgins is a fairy tale

In the recesses of Safeco field at the end of the Seattle Mariners 2011 season sat a man named Chone Figgins.

Figgins had been injured by special request from the masses and placed on the disabled list.

As he sat there in tears of humiliation he heard a small voice calling out his name.

He looked around trying to locate the where the voice was coming from.

He rubbed his eyes as he found himself face to face with his own fairy God mother.

She helped him to realize that his pitiful performance was not his fault and that he had been cursed by an evil witch known as Arte.

He asked her what he needed to do to remove the curse.  She told him that he had travel across the land in search of a magical hitting coach who had been known to turn other munchkins into real men and equip them with enchanted bats that made it impossible to strikeout.

Chone Figgins, Seattle Mariners

Figgins looked to the sky for a miracle. He got it this season

What he didn’t tell the fairy was that he was never injured in the first place, but he was faking it to avoid humiliation. Armed with this information, he began his quest to find the magical hitting coach.

As he walked away from the Emerald City he realized he knew the end of this story. So he tapped his ruby red high heels together saying, “There is no place like home… there is no place like home.”

He was thinking that he would go back to California.

Instead there was an announcement that he would be the Mariners new lead off hitter.

“I feel like I’m coming home,” he said to the press, but inside he wondered if he had just been blessed or sold his soul to the baseball gods.  Either way, his comeback seems about as likely as a fairy tale.

It is something that we desperately wish to be true, but instead we look for the moral of the story so that we never make the same mistake again.

In reality, Figgins has a bit of a bad rap that could be fixed if his mental game is in a better place.

In the grand scheme of things, it would seem that Ichiro would have an easier time of adjusting to a new position in the line up.

Figgins has not been worth the amount of money he is being paid, but if he could match the numbers he was putting up at the end of 2010 then there very well could be a fairy tale season in store for us in the Emerald City.

Let the magic begin.

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  • Erniejohnson17

    Figgins needs to go. He has not improved the team with him being there. He is a waste of roster space. Trade him

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