canucks

Rivalry!? Five (fake & hilarious) ways Canucks/Sharks take it to next level

Rivalry? Says who?

It’s not a rivalry until the other teams goon rips off a jersey, shreds an under shirt and a little bit of hair is pulled. That’s right, for those of you who missed the obvious reference; it was a game in Chicago in 2009 that really started the Canucks and Blackhawks rivalry.

4 years later and not quite the playoff history the Canucks and Blackhawks have, the Canucks and Sharks are looking a lot more like enemies than friends.

Of course that could be said about any team, I mean you don’t really see two opposing teams star players skating past center during the pregame warm up holding hands.

But even though the Canucks and the Sharks have had some spirited matches, both regular season and in the playoffs, I can’t help but feel this hasn’t hit full-fledged rivalry status yet.

What’s it going to take for that to happen?

Is this powder keg one Mr. Ed reference away from going off? Unlikely, but it could.

I mean, the Chicago one that was started in 2009 kind of came out of nowhere, so I suppose this one could to.

Kevin Bieksa

Rivalry? Says who?

I feel like having a little fun, and if you want to have a cheap laugh and not take tonight’s game against San Jose so serious, maybe we count down the top five things that could really set off a Canucks and Sharks rivalry.

Martin Havlat steps on the ice, innocently has his stick checked by a Sedin, lost for the season.

Now, as Canucks fans we can all sympathize with the Sharks on this one, after all, we spent years watching Sami Salo battle random injuries. At one point Canucks fans wondered if Salo could make it to the rink without spilling coffee on himself and crashing into a fire hydrant.

But the nature of some of Havlat’s injuries over the years has been just bad luck.

There isn’t an injury more infamous than the time Havlat simply tried jumping on the ice to take a shift. It resulted in him missing 39 games.

Mike Brown has ridiculous mustache torn off in a fight with Tom Sestito.

Mike Brown was added by the Sharks because GM Doug Wilson thought Brown could play the Sharks type of hockey. This made me think “The Sharks play aggressive and useless hockey?” But that’s not the case. San Jose is one of the best teams in the league.

From top to bottom they’re solid. So, if you had asked me what the missing piece for the Sharks was I wouldn’t have guess Mike Brown.

John Tortorella tells Roberto Luongo to let Joe score 4

John Tortorella tells Roberto Luongo to let Joe score 4

In fact, I would never guess Mike Brown for anything.

Marc-Edouard Vlasic is called “pickles” one too many times.

Hockey players aren’t known for being the most creative people when it comes to nicknaming teammates. Usually a hockey nickname is adding “er” or “sy” to a last name. Like Kaner, or Woodsy; the type of thinking that Mensa sees and thinks “We need these guys. They’re thinkers”.

Now, not all hockey players are gifted nicknames from birth. Anyone named Campbell is soupy because it makes sense, but a last name where you can call someone pickles?

Amazing.

Perhaps Marc-Edouard Vlasic has heard it one too many times and is one more call away from going Phil Kessel on the opposition, or his own team for that matter.

Logan Couture snaps his head back too hard.

It all happens after a high stick comes close to (and misses) his face; Logan Couture snaps his head back so hard he becomes concussed and is out for the foreseeable future.

Of course with a star player down the Sharks are furious, and since Mike Brown is useless (see number 4) they exact their revenge by having Patrick Marleau try to fight Kevin Bieksa again.

He scores 4 goals, has to put money where his mouth is

Last and certainly least we have Joe Thornton. The Canucks go up 6-0 (yeah, right) and during the intermission coach John Tortorella tells Roberto Luongo to let Joe score 4 so they can see what he does.

So shocked by scoring 4 goals in a game Joe begins to live up to his words from earlier in the season but Patrick Marleau again tries to fight Kevin Bieksa. It doesn’t end well again, but at least Joe gets to keep his pants on.

If you’re a Sharks fan and took any of this serious, you’re doing the internet wrong. You got yourself a good team, roll with the punches, relax, smile and have a coke.

Thanks for reading.

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About Mitch Dyck

Mitch lives in Port Coquitlam and though it sounds pretty awful, it's not nearly as bad as you think. He's been a Canucks fan since he can remember. Likes hockey, beer, swearing and aspires to teach children the violin once he's able to play one himself. You can catch him on twitter too! Connect with Mitch today!
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