What to do in Nashville
On Tuesday night, the Vancouver Canucks will face the Edmonton Oilers for the 2nd straight game…
Just kidding!
However, I bet you didn’t know that Nashville, Tennessee, while an active participant in the Sister Cities program, has a relationship with the ‘City of Champions’, Edmonton, Alberta.
Well it probably won’t be as easy a victory against the Preds as it was versus the Oil Sunday, but by all accounts, Nashville should be quite outmatched after 60 minutes.
This will be the final meeting of the regular season between the two, with the previous three seeing the winner score at least four goals. Vancouver won two of those, one at home and one on the road; one of their league leading 20 wins away from home ice.
So what are the keys to the Canucks winning this game? I’ll try and make them short and simple because in the week that BC sees Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario and PEI get a stat holiday, we deserve some easy readin’.
Eat Lots and Lots of BBQ
Nashville is known for its BBQ culture so I really hope that Monday night and pre-game Tuesday, the boys can get out and enjoy some pulled pork or steak or something of the sort.
Meat is of course the best source of protein out there so why not hit up the diners, drive-ins and dives of Nashville while there.
Protein, after all, is the main building block of muscle and a major source of energy. If the Predators come out flying like they have recently with their superstars Mike Fisher and Martin Erat, the Canucks will need all the energy they can get.
Oh and Chris Higgins does need to beef up again. *snickers*
Arrange a Pep Talk with Oprah
Some would say that Oprah Winfrey is or was the world’s most powerful woman and she spent a large portion of her youth in Nashville. I am sure for the right fee or commitment to building schools in Africa, she would be willing to give the team a pep talk.
My proposal: She comes in to chat with the team; first singling out Ryan Kesler. She reminds him that he does actually have a scoring touch.
Then she can give counselling to Cody Hodgson and Jannik Hansen on how to deal with their twitter phonies.
Third, she sits down with AV in private and tells him to play Hodgson in the top six and Byron Bitz on the 4th line.
Finally, she gives everyone a new batch of hockey sticks that are reinforced with a new type of superglue made from angel tears that will never, ever allow your stick to break.
Don’t let Carrie Underwood near them though, she busts sh*t up; like headlights and leather seats and hockey player’s careers.
DON’T Listen to any Country Music
Has it occurred to anyone that 90% of country music lyrics are negative? Allow me to provide some examples:
- “Useless as teats on a bull.” I bet a female bovine would disagree; if you know what I mean.
- “Too wet to plow and too hot to fish.” As seen in the movie War Horse, plowing actually works better when it’s pouring rain and as for being too hot to fish? Just bring some nice, cold brewskis along.
- “There’s a ten gallon hat on a two gallon head.” Maybe he/she is a midget and is just trying to fit in with the big people crowd.
The point being that any Country tunage would just bring the Canucks moods down and they’d come out flat and vulnerable.
Stare at the Sun
This will only be beneficial if sunglasses are worn during. I am only suggesting this so that the Canucks retinas won’t be burned out when Nashville comes out in their hideous yellow mustard jerseys.
Staring at the sun, or even some bananas pre-game should do the trick.
Visit The Parthenon
You may be thinking, “Isn’t the Parthenon in Greece, Josh?”
To you I say, yes and no.
In 1897, a full scale replica of the Parthenon was built in Nashville as part of the Tennessee Centennial Exposition.
Why this would have a good effect on the Canucks is because Greece, where we have determined the original Parthenon resides, is also the home of the Olympics.
Perhaps a venture to the Parthenon in the Athens of the South would inspire everyone but especially Ryan Kesler to play like the Olympian he is.
BEST BET TO WIN: Vancouver Canucks
Puck Drop is at FIVE…I repeat…FIVE PM. You catch it on Sportsnet Pacific and Team1040 Radio; or if you are reading this from Nashville, on Fox Sportsnet.