The 10 commandments to being a Vancouver Canucks fan!

Thou shalt Believe!

I don’t want to offend any religious people with this, in particular Christians and/or whoever else has devoted their life to abiding by what is in the bible.

For the sake of humour and not creating a war of beliefs, I pray you bear with me.

So according to some story called Exodus, GOD inscribed these ten commandments on two stone tablets and gave them to Moses on Mount Sinai.

When my eyes fall upon these words, they read, “According to the story of the Flying Plate of Spaghetti, Roger Nielson inscribed the first of ten commandments on the blade of a hockey stick and passed them down where they eventually were given to Alex Edler at Rogers Arena for all fans to see.”

roger nielson

Roger Nielson - The highest esteemed of Canucks Coaches Past

Alex Edler being the modern day equivalent of Moses, has passed those commandments on to me to share with you here on NWSB!

So without further ado, the 10 Commandments to being a Vancouver Canucks fan:

1) Thou shalt protecteth thy Playoff Towel

Towel Power be thy name; for it we thank one Hockey God named Roger Nielson. Be you a true Canucks fan, there is absolutely no excuse for you to not have a playoff towel come playoff time. They are available for free every year so don’t try to tell me you don’t have the moola.

Coach Nielson was gracious enough and BALLSY enough to do something that has left a lasting impact on this franchise FOR-E-VER! Pay your respects and thy hockey gods will reward you.

Hell, if you really appreciate towel power, you will stand up and wave that towel whether you are at home or in a bar. There’s no shame.

Helpful tip: If you find yourself without a Canucks Playoff Towel prior to a Canucks playoff game, grab a rag and draw a Canucks logo on it. At least the hockey gods will see you’re trying.

2) Thou shalt not riot

One riot, shame on you; two riots, shame on you and the police. That still doesn’t make it right. Regardless, if you riot, you are banished from the brotherhood AND sisterhood of Canucks fans forever. It is an unforgivable sin against the hockey gods.

3) Thou shalt not hate on another hockey fan (from Kevin [@flyingVhockey])

To trash talk or not to trash talk? That is the question. Giving it to another hockey fan, presumably one of another team is fine, but let’s not make it personal. There are several reasons for why people across the NHL hate Canucks fans and it’s because of the average immaturity of us.

Don’t get me wrong, plenty of us are above that, but if you’re a dumb Canucks fan, you’re probably really dumb.

4) Thou shalt remember the good times

Despite not having won a single, solitary Stanley Cup in 40+ years of existence, there have been memories made. The hockey gods appreciate you appreciating what they’ve been so generous in giving you. Canucks fans have ’82, ’94 and ’11. We have towel power, Trevor Linden, the WCE Era and the best damn pair of twins to ever play in the NHL. Don’t hate, appreciate.

5) Thou shalt hope for the best but expect the worst (from Richard [@prfctsoundforvr])

canucks fans

Praying to the Hockey Gods - You're doing it right!

Possibly the worst part of being a Canucks fan, especially if you’ve been around long enough to have been one for forty years like our Managing Editor “Q” is having your hopes and dreams crushed every year.

All we want is ONE Stanley Cup for crying out loud.

However, the hockey gods giveth and oh, they taketh. They give us great entertainment, skilled players and all the hope in the world only to have a tougher team punch us in the face multiple times and take that Cup away.

The hockey gods are cruel but they mean well. They do have a time planned for Canucks fans to rejoice.

The key here is for you to be prepared mentally for a loss. It’s fine to truly believe the Canucks will win, but you better have a shrink on speed dial.

6) Thou shalt exude EVERYTHING at a game

There are a few things one can do at a Canucks game that would deem thee not a true Canucks fan. The first is if you don’t cheer.

For crying out loud, this is a sporting event. If you aren’t cheering, you don’t deserve to be there. (I’m talking to you! Dude in the $1000 suit)

That or the person you are with who’s taken you to your first or hundredth sporting event hasn’t taught you well and is pretty much a dink because he’s doing everyone else, including the team, a dis-service.

Hey, when a player is calling the fans out, you know something’s wrong.

Here’s the kicker; leaving early. If you leave the arena early because your team is losing; and I don’t care what the score is; you are committing another unforgivable sin in the hockey kingdom. This goes back to being a fan win or lose, forever and always; your team may have stunk on that night but cut them some slack.

Sure they get paid millions but this is a game, so are the players on the other team.

They are human, so show them some humanity.

7) Thou shalt know thy franchise’s greats

We’ve gone over this; this team doesn’t have a Stanley Cup. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been great players though. Let’s forget about the Sedins for now; their time will come.

There are three men who have walked the halls of Canucks arenas past and present who should always be looked upon as heroes for this team. If you don’t know who they are, therein the problem lies.

You must know these three names and what they represent to be a Canucks fan: Stanley Smyl, Trevor Linden and Markus Naslund. Describing what they represent is too much for this space so go, do some research.

8 ) Thou shalt enjoy the journey, not just the sprint to the finish

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao-tzu

You cannot call yourself a Canucks fan if you only come around for three months of the year; or more often than not, 1-2 months a year.

The greatest moments happen in the playoffs; I don’t disagree but the marathon that is the regular season provides time for a fan to truly connect with their chosen team. The Canucks are full of personalities and when those turn almost to stone in the middle of April, you’ve missed out if you didn’t pay attention earlier on.

Your loss but you aren’t a Canucks fan.

9) Thou shalt not take Luongo’s name in vain

I have to say; this fan-base drives me freakin’ insane. It doesn’t matter if the team has just won or lost, someone is saying something incredibly stupid about the team.

roberto luongo

This guy - he's pretty good!

There are the critiques of one man though which leave me more baffled than any other. That is Roberto Luongo.

He is the best goalie this city has ever seen hands down. Yet, so many implore management to trade him at their earliest opportunity.  I’m too young to remember, but did people say trade McLean?

I highly doubt that even if they did, it was anywhere close to the mania that’s surrounded Bobby Lu.

If Gillis and co. get rid of Luongo, it will be due to public pressure and it will be one of the biggest mistakes if not the biggest, in franchise history.

Can we all just step back for a minute and realise that without him, the 2011 edition of the Vancouver Canucks would not have gotten to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals?

He’s provided us with prolonged entertainment and reasons to remain a fan of our beloved Vancouver Canucks for six incredible seasons.

Roberto Luongo is Roberto Luongod.

10) Thou shalt always support

This one can go for any team in any league anywhere but it rings extra clear for the fans of Vancouver.

Forty years of impotence can take its toll on even the most hard-core of fans but it is the unwavering  who are held in the highest regard.

Win or lose, playoffs or not, a Canucks fan is only a Canucks fan.

For a list of things that might make you a bandwagoner; check out this past blog: You Might be a Bandwagoner

Follow our Editor "Q" on Twitter, and NWSB, 'Like' us on Facebook.
About Josh Hall

Josh no longer writes for NWSB
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  • in addition to #7…Herrr-ooooolld…nuff said.  Nobody rocked the Skullet-stache combo like him.

    • True that. There are many former heroes. I chose to stick to the 3 retired captains.

    • NWSportsBeat

      Harold had retired before Josh was born. Not his fault. hehe

      • I know who Harold freakin Snepts is. I actually saw him play in an alumni game. By retired, I meant who had their #’s retired. And Snepts was never Captain.

  • Karl.

    Nice! Good job.
    When it comes to #6, i’d include allowing the fans to cheer the way they want to, within reason. Last season, i went to a Canucks game with noisemakers (a vuvuzela-style horn, a rattler and a drum) and had no problems from anybody. This year, i had to get security and host services PERMISSION to use my noisemakers because of grounds that “people and the mascot might get disturbed or offended by the noise” (still had no problems, hell everyone enjoyed it). I have a routine, and stuck to it. Let superfans be superfans adn keep crabbyfans at home.

    • Totally. Vuvuzelas are a border line thing for me. I say keep that to soccer. There are other horns are stuff you can have at a hockey game plus your voice should be enough, but a drum is also a nice touch. I’m glad security let you  keep your stuff. Thanks for reading. 🙂

      • Karl.

        You’re welcome 😀
        My horn isn’t really a vuvuzela, its just that similar style of one, i’ve had mine for almost 15 years and have only had one complaint (from a person who hated all kinds of noise, including stuff on the ice) and an arena that had a total ban on all air-horns.
        The problem with vuvuzela horns in Soccer/South Africa was that people were blowing them all the time and non-stop. If they had done it on a goal or something where you’d expect noise, then it would’ve been fine, but the “real” problem was using them non-stop at inappropriate times, not just because of the sound it makes.
        With me, i use mine for a goal, real major big hit/save, end of the anthem(s) and when my team wins at the end, thats it.

        • That does seem fair. If someone at a hockey game doesn’t like noise, they can basically step off.

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