canucks

Vancouver Canucks Birthday Presents: Jannik Hansen

Tillykke med fødselsdagen ~ Happy Birthday

This Thursday March 15th, Jannik Hansen will turn 26 years of age. That’s one year for each of the things he really doesn’t care about.

So what should one get a honey badger for his birthday?
I have the Top 5 things right here.

A Framed Photo of a Honey Badger

honey badger hansen canucks

Oh yeah, that's nice; real nice!

This would go up in Jannik’s kitchen where he can see it every time he sits down to eat. The honey badger, also known as a ratel, is excessively fond of honey; fitting since Hansen has stuck on the 3rd line this season.

This beautiful 14×11 framed print will be perfect for those nights Jannik plays like crap and goes home only to find on his wall, said framed print of a honey badger. Upon entering the home, he may be down, but once the sight of the vicious ratel hits his eyes, he won’t care anymore and be inspired to play better next time out.

Better Performing Wingers

This one’s for Vigneault.

Jannik Hansen reminds me a lot of Alex Burrows. Unless he’s playing with OTHER linemates, he’s only going when his partners are. Burrows goes as the Twins go unless he’s with Ryan Kesler; and Hansen goes as Raymond and Pahlsson go unless, again, he’s playing with a guy like Kesler.

Personally, I loved Zack Kassian on the 2nd line with Kesler and David Booth, which puts Higgins, a much more experienced and heating up winger with Jannik Hansen.  Plus, Chris Higgins has been recently quoted as saying he, “doesn’t care”, which line he plays on.

That may leave Raymond or Pahlsson on the 4th line or in the press box but this is Honey Badger’s birthday and Honey Badger gets what he wants.

A Bucket of Honey

As mentioned, Honey Badgers are very fond of honey, much like Winnie the Pooh. Well Honey has a lot of health benefits, two of which stand out here.

First of all, honey is nature’s energy booster. What’s better than a kick in the pants this time of year?

Secondly is the fact that honey is great for building a strong immune system; and if suggested Hansen will be spending a lot of time alongside Chris Higgins, that’s probably a good thing.

A Wheel of Danish Blue Cheese…

danish blue cheese jannik hansen

MMMMM.....not!

Danish blue cheese may be high in fat with 8.15 grams per ounce.

Danish blue cheese may be high in sodium with 395 milligrams per ounce (26% of recommended daily intake).

But you know what?

Honey Badger don’t care about fat and sodium content. Honey badger only eats one ounce each day. Honey badger don’t care about eating a whole brick. Honey badger only cares about the puck on his stick.

Olympics Spot and Captaincy

As it stands, Denmark sits 13th in the Mens’ World Hockey Rankings. The way the Olympics work is the Top 9 nations get in plus 3 qualifiers.

Now this gift is partially an idea for Gary Bettman and for the Danish National Team Coach.

Gary Bettman first of all needs to get his head out his butt and agree to have NHL players in Sochi two years from now.

The Danish team’s head coach really shouldn’t have much of a problem with this decision. Jannik Hansen has represented Danish hockey players better than any other in the world. Frans Nielsen may have 33 points on Long Island to Jannik’s 32, but Nielsen is -8 and Hansen is +11. The clear choice for Captain is Jannik Hansen.

I know this decision won’t be coming for a while still but just throwing some ideas out there.

So with all that being said, on behalf of all Canucks fans, I hope you have a great 26th birthday Jannik.

To see what I suggested for Marc-Andre Gragnani’s birthday this past Sunday, March 11th, click HERE!

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  • http://twitter.com/FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone

    The way the Canucks are playing lately that Honey Badger framed photo should be placed in front of the tunnel as the team walks out onto the ice. Hansen’s the embodiment of the way the team needs to play.

  • http://twitter.com/prfctsoundforvr Richard Hodges

    hate to say it, but Frans Neilson would probably captain the Danes. Dude is supremely underrated and beloved in Denmark.

    • http://twitter.com/vancan19 Josh Hall

      If Neilson gets the C, then Hansen get an A

      • http://twitter.com/prfctsoundforvr Richard Hodges

         Oh no doubt. Be interested to see how he would look as a go-to guy on a team.

  • Kuljetkaila

    Your blogs rock!  Keep on writing.  Well done Josh.

    • http://twitter.com/vancan19 Josh Hall

      Thanks Kuljeet. That means a lot coming from you.

  • http://twitter.com/Shameazzle Shamil Meghji

    Honey Badger Picture goes in the dressing room. Hansen gets a decent set of linemates, and I get a wheel of blue cheese. I think everyone’s happy in that result.

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