canucks

A New Set Of Twins In Vancouver?

Van TwinCity?

With brother Daniel out of action for what could be up to two weeks as a result of a Duncan Keith head shot, the Vancouver Canucks brass have been scouring the classifieds, pounding the pavement and holding interviews with potential replacements for the lad from Sweden.

No longer able to lineup beside his brother, Hank may to see time on the second line, or sandwiched in between what could be Vancity’s newest fan favorite duo.

Bia and Branca Feres

Brazilian synchronized swimmers, these 24 year old identical twins will have the same unique bond and understanding of their sibling that the Sedins share with each other.

Standing at only 5’4″ the Canucks might have to alter the baggy fitting uniforms a bit in order to gain maximum exposure and benefit from the Feres sisters.

Maybe this set of “sisters” would even make Neil Mcrae happy!

The Usos

Jimmy and Jey (real names Jonathan and Joshua), the sons of former WWE star Rikishi, would certainly provide the Canucks with grit and muscle along the front line.

Standing about 6’1″, 250lbs for Jimmy and 230 for Jey, the 27 year old Samoans wrestlers might not be Alain Vigneault’s first choice for the premier scoring line, but with a tribal pre game dance like this, nobody would dare mess with Henrik and you know that even Mason Raymond‘s blood would be boiling and ready to go. Here’s their vid.

Tiki and Ronde Barber

With Tiki providing the scoring punch and Ronde the defensive presence, the chances of the Barber’s playing on a line together every shift would be a challenge.

Tiki, who is looking to return to the NFL in 2012, could use the last twenty NHL games as a warmup.  With 55 touchdowns and over 10,000 yards, Tiki has the scoring touch needed to replace Daniel.  Ronde, with 14 TD’s, would prove to be an offensive defense-man that the Canucks could use to replace Sami Salo.

At 36 years old, the Barbers would be signed to short term contracts, but would no doubt have an impact.

Maybe this set of "sisters" would even make Neil Mcrae happy!

Brook and Robin Lopez

If the Canucks picked up Zack Kassian with thoughts of battling the Boston Bruins and 6’9″ Zdeno Chara, just imagine what a pair of 7 footers would look like on a pair of blades sandwiching Henrik!

And if you add in Robin’s tribute to Mike Commodore’s fro, that first lineup would be down right scary.  As with the Barbers, Brook has more of the offensive mentality, while Robin would be more of the banger on the starting line.

The 23 year old brothers from California have played with Deron Williams and Steve Nash, so picking up pucks on the fly from Henrik wouldn’t be much of a challenge.

Ladies & Gents…The Lopez’s

Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss

A pair of Harvard graduates from New York, the Winklevoss twins would feel the wrath of Mcrae on the radio and the newspapers daily.

Known more for their role in this thing called Facebook, the Voss bros might be better off in the Canucks front office than they would on the ice (as rowers they wouldn’t be used to the frozen liquid).

However I don’t see the Aquilini family willing to bring Tyler and Cameron into the inner circle.

The Feres sisters, the Usos and the Winklevoss’s would probably not be as successful if separated from their sibling, whereas the Barbers and the Lopez brothers have shown that they are capable of putting up numbers without their twin by their side.

Over the last few years, Henrik has had to play without Daniel for periods of time and despite history and stories claiming that they would not play well if separated, the stats have said otherwise.

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About Steve Lee

Steve is a 12 year writing vet, and writes for a number of sports sites, offering a unique and abstract look at the games we love. He still hopes the Grizz + Sonics return to the Northwest, and has been a Lakers fan since "Showtime".
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  • http://theflyingv.com/ Kevin Vanstone

    Can we convince the Feres twins to sign with the Whitecaps? You had me at identical Brazilian twins. 

  • http://theflyingv.com/ Kevin Vanstone

    Can we convince the Feres twins to sign with the Whitecaps? You had me at identical Brazilian twins. 

  • http://twitter.com/prfctsoundforvr Richard Hodges

    Mary-Kate and Ashley! They could probably skate better than Macy.

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