Breaking News: LeBron Traded For Luongo! Shaking up the sports world

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Everyone has offered their opinions on what we should do with Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo, so I think that its time I weighed in.

The biggest problem with trading him is his contract and his no-trade clause. We would need to embrace another large contract and also trade him somewhere that he wanted to go. The only place he probably would want to be other than Vancouver is Florida.


The Panthers have nothing we really want. So on that note, we should trade for Florida’s best player, who in this case would have to agree to come join the Canucks.

Why would he have to agree? Because he’s not a member of the NHL. Yet.

He plays a different professional sport, and he would complete the building storyline that the Canucks are most hated team in the NHL.

His name? Lebron James

After you scrape your brains off the ceiling, think about it for a second.

  • Lebron is currently not playing basketball due to the lockout.
  • He doesn’t need money, but he does crave attention.
  • He wants to become a “global icon.”
  • He’s already huge in the US, but he could be bigger in Canada.
  • Playing hockey is a great way to accomplish that. He could even hold another “Decision” conference.
Roberto Luongo

Lets Trade Poker Boy To Miami For LeBron ok?

It’d be easy.

It would be AWESOME.

He announces that he is holding a conference to announce that he is leaving basketball and will be joining another professional sports team while basketball is cancelled.

Everyone will assume he’s talking about football, as he has already vaguely mentioned it.

Then he announces that he’s taking his talents to the Vancouver Canucks.

Chaos. Internet meltdown. Over/under for number of Lebron articles would be somewhere around 25,000. I’m betting on the over.

Why would the Heat agree?

There would be a clause that he could go back to the NBA when the lockout is over, and in return we would receive some draft picks, which is the best we could hope for from Luongo anyways.

The Panthers get an upgrade at goaltender, and the Heat get more publicity. They haven’t been in the news enough anyways.

Lebron won’t be very good, there’s no doubt. He’s never played serious hockey in his life. But he’s a freak athlete, and he’s HUGE.

Lebron James NHL

Canucks Will Sign Lebron James!

All he needs to do is play a few minutes each game, crash the net and stare guys down.

Ever wanted to see Lebron get punched in the face?

You aren’t alone, it’s a popular fantasy if you come from Cleveland.

And then there’s January 7th, 2012. A week before the game, Lebron trashes a certain player on a certain team and challenges him to a fight at centre ice.

The team? The Bruins. The player? Zdeno Chara. How many people would watch this game? How much would people pay for the pay-per-view? $50? $500?

It would be an iconic moment in sports history. Multiple fan bases (Vancouver, Boston, Miami, and Cleveland just to name four) would be totally invested in seeing what happened.

The rest of the continent would tune it just for the sheer entertainment value.

And when Lebron leaves the NHL to go back and play basketball? The Canucks will have become the most widely watched team in the NHL.

Sure, not many people will like us, but damn it, we will be popular. And when Lebron leaves and the Canucks go on to win a Stanley Cup? Maybe that will help us shed that image, and we’ll become the good guys. Either way, it would be entertaining to watch.

Gillis? Make this happen.       

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About Riley Trottier

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