The Canucks have the lowly Kings right where they want them

The Coldplay Curse

The Vancouver Canucks have been one game away from elimination for close to a week now as the schedule has slowed to a halt after Game 4.

In Los Angeles, the Staples Center is a booking nightmare with the Kings, Lakers, and Clippers all competing in the playoffs while in Vancouver Rogers Arena has been booked by a global force bigger than hockey: Coldplay.

It means the Canucks have been on life support for a while now as we tend to their bedside and pray for a miracle recovery.

Thankfully it’s also meant that thanks to Nashville’s dumping of the Wings, the Canucks won’t be the first team booking tee times this April.

If the Coyotes can win tonight, the Blackhawks would also be out. You should probably starting getting used to the idea of a Blues/Predators West Final.

Or should you?

Nah, the Canucks are coming back. What we have here is just another Vancouver first round rollercoaster special.

Like Calgary in ’94, St Louis in ’03 or Chicago in ’11, the Vancouver Canucks like to get weird in the first round.

They got this.

1. Double Trouble

Apparently coming back from an 0-3 hole in the playoffs is tough. I get that. Winning four in a row with no margin for error is a difficult task. To achieve something like that you’d almost have to find a way to take your best player and clone hi– oh wait. They did that 31 years ago.

The return of Daniel Sedin means the return of the powerplay and the return of goals and wins.

There’s also the trickle-down factor throughout the entire forward corps as everyone can go back to the role they’re comfortable in and Mason Raymond can go back to the fourth line or preferably go all the way home.

2. Coldplay = Cold Play

The Kings will line-up on Sunday night not having won a game in a week. So much for that momentum. It’s a different series now.

The last time the Kings beat the Canucks, Raffi Torres was a free man. It gives Sunday the feel of a regular season contest and not the die-or-die pressure-fest it really is.

That’s a good thing. It allows the Canucks to reverse the series like they were scientists. They can fix the series. Don’t panic. Don’t cry, they’re not in trouble. When Coldplay is in your place, you can’t lose.

3. Alberta Has Adopted the Kings

They’re writing folk songs about the Los Angeles in Kings in Alberta, odes to the great warriors who have almost felled the evil tyrants from the coast.



If the Canucks lose its because of momentum. After all Rogers Arena has been booked by Coldplay

Unfortunately for you Alberta the hockey teams you cheer for tend to suck and lose. So go ahead and put that stink on the Kings.

You guys in Edmonton should know better than anyone that you can’t keep relying on Dustin Penner GWGs.

4. Stancy The Stanchion

You know who’s been suspiciously quiet this series? No not David Booth. Nope, not Chris Higgins. Uh no not Alex Edler either…

Ok the stanchion, that’s what I was going for.

The Hobbes to Kevin Bieksa‘s Calvin has yet to jump in with an assist on a perfectly cromulent Calvinball goal which only means that the lil guy is saving himself for something truly special.

After all, he’s still had a better series than Mason Raymond.

5. Cheap Tricks

After some confusion and waiting for the outcome of Detroit/Nashville, game-time for Sunday has been set for 5 pm.

The Kings may not know this yet.

Therefore let’s pretend like it’s 7 pm. Everyone start talking about the game being at 7.

Put it in the papers, tumblrs, tweets, missed connections. Hopefully the Kings fall for it.

Actually wait.

Go to the Roxy and write in huge letters in the mens’ washroom that the game starts at 7.

I guarantee Mike Richards and Jeff Carter will no show.


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About Richard Hodges

A proud Vancouverite with a lifelong passion for the home teams that some would classify as pointless and disturbing. Now realizes that The Linden Tree is not the play you think it would be.
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  • It can’t be a coincidence that Coldplay sing a song called the Reverse Fix. Rogers Arena’s destiny has already been determined. 

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