Just Lose It
This limerick brought to you by Saturday’s Hockey Night in Canada matchup between the Columbus Blue Jackets and Vancouver Canucks on St. Patrick’s Day.
The disparity is vast with the Jackets and Nucks,
Be it a story of sticks, or helmets, or pucks,
The playoffs are near, the Canucks all but clinched,
For the Canucks, Rick Nash would have been a good pinch,
Alas right now, our team really sucks.
If only I could type in an Irish accent as well as I can do one. That being said, I’ve been told my Irish sounds more like East Indian so maybe that’s a good thing.
Anyways, Saturday’s tilt, and it really is a tilt, would probably help the Canucks more if they lost.
Now stop, hammer time. This isn’t your classic “tilt.” (See what I did there?) Tilt often denotes a game where both teams are fairly equal and up for throwin’ it down. However, this is a tilt because if you have the Canucks at one end of a line and that end is really high up, you then must put the BJ’s at the other end, really low. That’s an awful lot of tiltness folks.
So what I was saying is it’d be better for the Canucks if they lost. Blasphemy you say, but allow me to explain.
No I do not mean Dwayne Johnson’s finishing move.
The Canucks have been mired in this slump for what seems like months but hold up, it’s really only been 8 games in 18 days that started with an OT Loss in Dallas at the end of that long road trip.
The Canucks would be better off losing Saturday because there would be nowhere to go but up. Columbus is and probably will be for a while to come, the last place team in the entire NHL. They aren’t even close to 2nd last.
Should the Canucks lose, it would truly be rock bottom.
Should they win, well that would give them a whole other feeling which brings me to my next point.
Normally confidence is a good thing. In fact, confidence is usually something I would call sexy.
However, should the Canucks win against Columbus Saturday, they’d be given an unnecessary and unrealistic confidence that they are back on track. Sorry, but a victory against the turd of the NHL does not make you back on track, even if you win 10-1.
I’m not saying these guys are stupid but they seem awfully delusional to me. All this talk about not caring because they just can’t wait for the playoffs is making me sick. So does this mean the fans shouldn’t care about the players or winning?
It’s all just talk until they prove it starting April 11th.
These guys obviously don’t get it and maybe a loss against Columbus, which would trigger a million more presses of the panic button and calls for the heads of several people, would knock some sense into those craniums of theirs.
A lot of the talk recently has been about why Cory Schneider isn’t starting more.
Frankly, he’s not the Canucks damn starting goaltender.
Like it or not, come Game 1, Round 1, the starter will be Roberto Luongo. Barring injury, it will be the same man should the Canucks be fortunate enough to play a Game 1/Round 2, a Game 1/Round 3 and praise the hockey lords, a Game 1/Round 4.
Lu hasn’t been the only one to blame for this downfall, but he has been rather Octoberish. Despite that, he needs to find his own way out of that.
Saturday’s game against Columbus is a perfect game for Schneider to start because the game doesn’t really matter. Should the Canucks try, and fail to win or half try and fail to win, that’s good. Cory Schneider is on his way out anyways folks. He can’t prove himself any more than he already has and one loss because the team is playing like crap won’t hurt his value on the open market.
BEST BET TO WIN: Vancouver
Obviously, the best bet to win is still Vancouver even though I am saying it’d be better to lose. If you actually predict Vancouver will lose, well let’s just say you have balls.
I will and won’t be surprised when they lose though. I also won’t be surprised when Canucks Nation self-destructs if they lose.
This fanbase is on the brink of popping its last vein; the unfaithful portion of said fanbase anyways.
To those people, I remind you that #YouMightBeABandwagoner.
Puck Drop is at 7PM on CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada and TEAM1040 Radio