Team Chara? WTF!
The All-Star weekend was already shaping up to be a transformative experience for young Vancouver Canucks Cody Hodgson even before fate stepped in Thursday night and gave us the scenario Canuck fans thought they wouldn’t see this weekend: A Canuck on Team Chara.
Hodgson, who scored the game-winning goal against the Bruins earlier this month, was all of a sudden cut adrift from his teammates and the hometown captain and joins a team that includes Chara, Tim Thomas, and Tyler Seguin. Those are just the Bruins.
Team Chara also boasts such beloved figures in Vancouver as Patrick Kane, Brian Campbell, Jordan Eberle, and Ryan Suter.
Cody Hodgson has fallen into the wrong crowd.
There’s a good chance he takes up smoking this weekend.
As collective parents we have to trust Cody to make the right decisions this weekend, after all he’s a good kid. Still, maybe we should call him and see if he’s ok. No that’s overbearing, can’t be overbearing or we drive him right into Patrick Kane’s welcoming boozy arms.
We’ll E-mail him! Kids love e-mails and he can read it on his own time. Perfect.
From: Richard Hodges <Richard@NWSportsBeat.com>
Date: Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:09:19 -0800
To: Cody Hodgson <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Re: All-Star Weekend
Hope everything is going well in Ottawa. We’re having a quiet weekend back here in Vancouver. It’s kind of cold and the sky is one big giant cloud. It’s not raining, but it might. You know how it is this time of year.
We’re all very excited to see you in the skills competition today. I see Chara picked you to participate in the accuracy shooting competition. Too bad just under the crossbar and just over Tim Thomas’ shoulder isn’t a target today.
I must admit that seeing you separated from your teammates and the forces of good is a bit unnerving. This must be a heady time for you, every boy dreams of spending a weekend in Ottawa, but I need to remind you to keep your wits about you.
If you need anything, call them. If you’re uncomfortable, call them. If Corey Perry starts talking about being unhappy in Anaheim, don’t call them. Press the big button with the star on it and call Mike.
I know you’re a grown man and can make your own decisions but please please stay away from Patrick Kane. I don’t like that kid. Do not split a cab with him under any circumstance. If he asks you to buy a bag of chips for him, give him his change.
Speaking of change, please do not engage Tim Thomas on what he can and cannot do to trespassers he finds in his crease. Do not ask him how he feels about expansion.
When you hear him say “Glenn Beck had some good ideas” politely leave the room.
Tyler Seguin has his name tattooed across his back. Alway remember that because it completely discredits him as a human being.
You will of course be stoked to see your old buddy Jordan Eberle. By all means, catch up. Just don’t bring up how awesome it was to win on a Pat Quinn coached team.
We trust you Cody and know you’ll make the right choices.
P.S. If you want to flatter Ryan Suter all weekend and inflate his ego to the point where his contract demands price out Shea Weber and force him into the arms of the Vancouver Canucks, by all means please do it.