canucks

Top ten signs that your Canucks paranoia is finally getting to you

Push the button!

Vancouver Canucks fans it IS time to panic!

Over the past few weeks, the dissatisfaction with this (still SECOND PLACED TEAM!) has reached epidemic proportions. Never mind the fact that so many teams (each of the past five champions by the way) has gone through similar poor spells late in the season.

You know for sure that Alain Vigneault and Mike Gillis have lost their minds, and now is very much the time to panic and nobody is going to keep you from your opinions, your conspiracy theories, and your damn fine tinfoil helmet!!

At last, ten signs that your paranoia is real and justified:

1. You are jealous of the Toronto Maple Leafs, because at least everyone there agrees they have no chance this year.

2. You find yourself, late at night after the game, hunched over in a corner rocking yourself back and forth in your retro Cloutier jersey muttering, “Well, he was wasn’t that bad….better than Lou, right?!”

3. You find yourself almost forgiving Brad Marchand, because at least he was tough and showed it.

4. You’re ready to take back Iron Mike Keenan as your coach, let AV win games somewhere else…dammit!

5. You are contemplating changing your allegiance to the Chicago Blackhawks and frequently are heard to comment that “That little Patty Kane is a fine boy!”

6. You are ready to trade Henrik Sedin & Daniel Sedinfor a ‘kouple of Kardashians’ instead. Even the funny looking ones.

Tinfoil head

He says its ok to hit the panic button.

7. You finally drank the Tony Gallagher Kool-Aid.

8. Your logic…”Well Nashville is getting Radulov back from the KHL because he’s still ‘under contract’…Jan Bulis is also in the KHL right now, so do we still have him ‘under contract’ too?!”

9. You are ready to exchange Mike Gillis for Brian Burke once more.

10. You have also finally added Tony Gallagher to your Twitter feeds.

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About C-Mac

Born in Northern Ireland. Lived in Japan. Resides in BC. Followed the Canucks through thick and thin his entire life, while also trying to grow his Dave Babych moustache. He's a Seahawks 12th man, and since he's played the 'Beautiful Game' for 30+ years he's a Vancouver Whitecaps diehard as well. Connect with C-Mac today!
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  • http://twitter.com/FlyingVHockey Kevin Vanstone

    I really thought I was going to make it through this list without a scratch, but you’ve got me on following Gallagher. Guilty as charged. 

  • Steve

    hmm, Kourtney and Kim for Hank and Dan……….

  • http://twitter.com/vancan19 Josh Hall

    Gallagher is nothing to be afraid of. He knows this team better than any reporter in the entire market. Tells it how it is.

  • Jdaawgliveshere

    I think you can come up with better signs – like one fan has come up with so many trades we would, if followed his suggestions, have 4 forwards 1 defenseman a goalie from some bantam rep team and Cody Hodgson’s agent as coach..

    Canuck fans are also spending a lot of time re-inventing math – because for some reason if we don’t win any more games we still get the Presidents Trophy..

    And yes, I am a loyal Canucks Fan

  • http://twitter.com/prfctsoundforvr Richard Hodges

    I enjoy Gallagher in the same way I enjoying watching reptilian videos on youtube. 

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